ASSHOLE by Dennis Leary Album: No Cure For Cancer (comedy album) D Dsus2/C G/B Bb6b5 E|-----2-2-2-2-----0-0-0-0-----0-0-0-0-----0-0-0-0-| B|-----3-3-3-3-----3-3-3-3-----3-3-3-3-----3-3-3-3-| G|-2---2-2-2-2-----2-2-2-2-----0-0-0-0-----0-0-0-0-| D|-0---0-0-0-0-0---0-0-0-0-0---0-0-0-0-0---0-0-0-0-| A|-------------3-----------2-----------1-----------| E|-------------------------------------------------| 1 & 2 & 3 & 1 & 2 & 3 & 1 & 2 & 3 & 1 & 2 & 3 & [Spoken] Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream. About me. About you. About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests. About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the subcockle area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the colon--we don't know. I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job I'm your average white suburbanite slob I like football and porno and books about war I got an average house with a nice hardwood floor My wife and my job, my kids and my car My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested (Oh no) No Way (Uh-uh) No, I've gotta go out and have fun At someone else's expense (Oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I drive really slow in the ultrafast lane While people behind me are going insane I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, such an asshole) I use public toilets and I piss on the seat I walk around in the summertime saying, "How about this heat?" I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole) Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces While handicapped people make handicapped faces I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's a real fucking asshole) ------- BRIDGE: [Now the chords change] ------- Em A Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song Em A Ranting and raving and carrying on Em A Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong A A/G A/F# A/E Naaaah! [BACK TO CHORD PROGRESSION] I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole) [Spoken] [ Tab from: http://www.guitaretab.com/d/dennis-leary/126339.html ] You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible--hot pink with whaleskin hubcaps and all leather cow interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights, yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in that baby at a 115 miles per hour, getting one mile per gallon, sucking down quarter-pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers, and when I'm done sucking down those greaseball burgers, I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the american flag and then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam container right out the side and there ain't a goddamned thing anybody can do about it. You know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why. Two words--Nuclear fucking weapons, okay? Russia, Germany, Romania--they can have all the democracy they want. They can have a big democracy cakewalk right through the middle of Tiananmen Square and it won't make a lick of difference because we've got the bombs, okay? John Wayne's not dead--he's frozen. And as soon as we find the cure for cancer we're gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by fifteen million times, that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Cassavetes and Lee Marvin... (Hey) and Sam Peckinpah... (Hey) And a case of whiskey, and drive down to Texas... (You know you really are an asshole) Why don't you just shut up and sing the song, pal? I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole) A-S-S-H-O-L-E Everybody! A-S-S-H-O-L-E [Barking] Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf Fung achng tum a fung tum a fling chum [something like that :)] Oooh Oooh [Spoken] I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it. TAB FOR FINAL D CHORD: E|-2--3--2--0--2--| B|-3-----------3--| G|-2-----------2--| D|-0-----------0--| A|----------------| E|----------------| CHORDS: ------- EADGBE D (xx0232) Dsus2/C (x30230) * Not sure about the name of this one G/B (x20030) Bb6b5 (x10030) * This name is VERY likely completely wrong Em (022000) could maybe be Em7 (022030) A (x02220) A/G (3x2220) A/F# (2x2220) A/E (0x2220) I copied this.... here are the authors notes NOTES: OK, this is a great song. The chord progression in the whole song is D Dsus2/C G/B Bb6b5 over and over again. The only place where it's different is in the bridge. Since the chords are always the same I won't put the chord names above the lyrics, just play these four chords over and over. I'll put the chord names over the lyrics in the bridge though. Also since it's always the same, I won't bother to divide the song into verses and choruses and stuff. I'll just tell you where the bridge begins and where it ends. To play the chords first strike the bass strings and then strum the rest of the strings.
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