Half Man Half Biscuit – The Referees Alphabet chords

This one's just the same 3 chords played over and over again, execept the D which is 
occasionaly slide up from a D flat chord(it just an extra detail that I haven transcribed, 
I'm just saying incase your wondering, it doesn't make the utmost of differances)
Great and very (almost too) underratted band and one of their greatest songs

(note: the chord placings are approximate so are probably in the wrong place, but it's 
easy enough to guess them as long as you know the chords)

(intros just the same chords for the verses: D, G, A)

DThe A is for my authority
GWhich many players seem to question,
AThinking they're somehow going to make me change my mind
DB is for babies
GWhich a lot of managers cry like
AAfter a decision has not gone their way
D GC is for the continual criticism I recieve from the touchline
AGet back in your technical area!
DD is for the dunderheads
GWho seem to think we have a conspiracy
AAgainst their particular team
DE is for the eery silence that echoes around the ground
GAfter I've booked the home teams player
AAnd it's obvious to everyone that he deserved it
DF is the farce into which most games would descend if we werent there
GThe G is for the gnarled face of someone whos on 90,000 a week
AAnd reckoned he should have had a throw in
DH is for handball
GWhich has to be intentional and very rarely is
AIf only people would study the rules more
DI is for innocence, pleaded by many a doe-eyed defender
GAfter they've just scythed down that tricky winger
AJ is for ju-jitsu, which i quite intend to display given a dark alley
DAnd some of the narky blerts ive encountered
GK is for the kissing of the badge
AHow ridiculous that looks 6 months later when they're at another club
D GL is for lip reading, at which you don't need to be an expert
ATo see how odious some people are
DM is for the mistakes we sometimes make
G ASurely a bit of controversy is part of the games appeal
D GThe N, the N is for the numbskull who during the boxing day game
AAsks me what else i got for christmas besides my whistle
DAn afternoon with your wife mate
DThe O is for offside
G AWhich many forwards tell me they simply could not have been
DThe P is for the penalty shootout
G AGreat drama and no pressure on me
DQ is the quiet word i sometimes need to have
GWith some of the more fiery participants
AI usually choose the word 'pleat'
DR is for running backwards
G AA difficult skill which the pundits never seem to appreciate
D GS is for the suggestion that i should have awarded a card of some sort
ATo a player whos just been awarded a free kick
(mute the strings and strum) Sorry i got all that wrong the S again
DOkay the S, the S is the suggestion that i should show a card to an opponent
GBy a player whos been awarded a free kick
AHe himself is more in danger of getting one for that
DT is for the 21 man brawl
G AWhiuch is basically an embarrassing scene of pushing and shoving
DU is for the umpire which i sometimes wish I'd been instead
G AYou never hear a cricket crowd shouting whos the bastard in the hat
D GThe V is for vitriol vilification vendetta and volley of verbal abuse
ASome good bird noises there by the way
DW is for walter pidgeon
GWhos mr Griffiths in 'how green was my valley'
AI may have started to sound like during this song
D'where was the light i thought to see in your eye'
G AHe says that to a young huw played by roddy McDowall
DThe X
GThe X represents the sarcastic kiss planted on my forehead by the swarthy
Apotugese center half
Whom i just dismissed
DThe Y is for Yate
G AThe kind of town referees come from
DAnd the Z
G AWell the Z could be for Zidane, Zico, Zola, Zubizaretta, Zoff
Even Zondervan
DBut is in fact for the zest with which we approach our work
GWithout this zest for the game we wouldn't become refs
AAnd without refs, well zero
DSee also Zatopek, Zeus
GAnd Zeal Monachorum
DI have a caravan there
GStatic naturally
A D etc...(Wouldnt it be fun if the gave the ref a gun)
contiune the "D G A" until the end (although, if your like me when it comes to the end you just press play and start it all again)
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