Jake Thackray - The Lodger chords

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Stunned to find not a single Jake Thackray ballad here.
If you've not heard any of Jake's work then I strongly suggest you check him out 
on Youtube and read his bio at www.jakethackray.com 
A true wordsmith in idiosyncratic English humour.

The Lodger  Jake Thackray


Am EMy landlady had three lovely daughters.
E AmThey used to come and make my bed each day
Am EThey used to come and clean my living quarters,
E AmBut their mother made quite sure they didn't stay.
FThere was Mary: she seemed chary;
C EThere was Helen: she seemed well and truly sceptical
Amabout my qualities;
F CThere was Julie: she was truly well-proportioned, but her
E AmCaution Brought exhaustion on my aching arteries.
Am EBut I was wrong: they weren't at all impervious
E Am To the possibilities of high romance -
Am EAnd I sensed a certain girlish nerviness
E AmIn the way they folded my pyjama pants.
F And I was right, for late one night
CSweet little Mary, like a fairy,
E AmAs I lay sleeping, came a-creeping to my side.
F CShe was mine: it was divine - but we were doomed, for very soon
E AmInto the room came sister Helen, and she cried:
A D E A"Mary, go to bed!" Off Mary went.
A D E A"Now, young man," Helen said, "for your punishment,
A D E A"We mustn't have a fight, we mustn't make a row:
A D E Am"Turn off the light - it's my turn now!"
Am EWell, after all, I'm young and relatively vigorous,
E AmAnd though I still protest my innocence,
Am EBy temperament I'm strictly un-polygamous,
E AmAnd if I sinned, I sinned in self-defence.
F CNevertheless I must confess I wouldn't miss that
E Amsort of bliss And when it ended I was rendered comatose.
F CWhen, loud and clear, very near, in my ear a loud
E Am voice spoke And I was awoken from my post-coital doze.
A D E A"Helen, go to bed!" Helen went away.
A D E A"Now, young man," Julie said, "you will have to pay!
A D E A"You've blighted Helen's charms, filched her purity.
A D E Am"Open up your arms - come and filch me!"
Am EI was amazed, and really rather tired;
E Am I thought I'd given all that I could give.
Am EA little kip was all that I desired,
E AmBut I'm British, so my upper lip was stiff.
F C She was chaotic, idiotic, quite exotic and ecstatic,
E AmAcrobatic and emphatically fine.
F CAll to no good, for when I could open my eyes, to my
E Amsurprise I found her mother looking into mine.
A D E A"Julie, go to bed!" Julie left the scene.
A D E A"Now listen, Ma," I said, "I know the old routine.
A D E A"I'll do what you like, but I shall be vexed
A D E Am"And I'll bloody well go on strike if Grandma's next!"
Listen to the recording on youtube it's a nice simple tune and fun to play for friends. This is my first attempt so any comments or corrections welcome. cheers BigMick
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