Fred Small – If I Were A Moose chords

[Intro]
C  Em  Dm  G

[Verse]
   C                  EmIf I were a moose and you were a cow
Dm                GWould you love me anyhow?
Dm                     EmWould you introduce me to your folks
          F                  GWould you tell your friends, "No moose jokes!"
   G        C Am Dm    G          C     GIf I were a moose  and you were a cow

C                   EmWould you invite me to your club
    Dm           GAnd risk a cruel bovine snub
Dm                           EmWould you lead me down the receiving line
    F                   GAnd boldly boast, "This moose is mine!"

F          G       C        AmWould your parents watch us graze
F           G            C      AmShake their heads, "It's just a phase"
   Dm         E7        Am     Am7Or would they thank the stars above
      D                 GTheir precious heifer's found her love?

C                       EmWould your grandparents change their will?
Dm                       GThey'd really expected a Holstein bull
Dm                    Em"For this we toiled before the plow
    F                            GYou bring home someone who's not even a cow

         F       G      C      Am"There's lots of proper stock around
          F          G           C      AmLike that nice young Guernsey at Farmer Brown's
        Dm      E7        Am        Am7Or that last one   we ridiculed and cursed
   D                  GOn second thought you could do worse

[Bridge]
E7                     Am"But if you think this thing will last
         F        G       C       AmCould he learn to moo and eat our grass
F         G       C      Am Shed his antlers in the dirt
D7                      G Could you persuade him to convert?"

       C             EmIf our anatomies did not quite fit
Dm                 GWould you make the best of it
Dm               EmWould you nuzzle up so near
    F                   GAnd hum sweet cow tunes in my ear?

F             G     C        Am Or would you sadly break it off
     F       G        C           AmWhen all the hillside sneered and scoffed
Dm               E7        Am      Am7 "You know these moose are all the same
        D                          G        They're lazy, they're stupid, they come from Maine"

C                       EmIt's true things slip a moose's mind
     Dm            GThat cows remember all the time
Dm               EmBulbous nose and knobby knees
  F                 GA coat that harbors ticks and fleas

      F         G    C     AmBut a moose can be a handy thing
     F      G           C    AmWhen hungry wolves come visiting
Dm      E7      Am     Am7 In icy gust of winter storm
    D               GOur fur is deep and dry and warm

    C                   EmAnd someday should your milk run dry
    Dm                GAnd farmer stare with baleful eye
   Dm                EmIn dead of night I'd slip your noose
    F                    GAnd lead you home to the land of moose
   G        C Am Dm    G          C   GIf I were a moose  and you were a cow

[like bridge]
E7                 AmIf hunters came to do me harm
F          G       C      Am Would you hide me in the barn
      F       G         C      AmWould all the herd come on the run
    D7               G7And glare until they dropped their guns?

[Interlude]
C  Em  Dm  G

[Outro]
Dm                 EmMight you permit a goodnight kiss
F                       GCould you learn to love wet moose lips?
   F G       C    Am F               C   AmIf I  were a moose    and you were a cow
Dm  G          C Am Dm   G        C If you were a cow   and I were a moose