Martin Pearson – The Loo Break Song chords
Chords:
[Verse 1]GMy eyes have seen the glory of the return of the king,C G D7It was three long hours of movie to destroy a single ring.G B7 EmBut my bladder would be gladder if they'd melt the bloody thing,Am D7 GAnd bring the credits on.[Chorus]GOh, good lord I need a loo break,C GOh, good lord I need a loo break,G EmOh, good lord I need a loo break,Am D7 GBut the film keeps rolling on.[Verse 2]GIt started many years ago, when Sauron ruled the land,C G D7But Gil-Galad and Isuldur set out to thwart his plan.G B7 EmYoung Isuldur defeated him and cut of half his hand,Am D7 GBut the film keeps rolling on.[Verse 3]GMuch later on in Mount Doom where the hobbits come at last,C G D7Frodo gives Smeagol the finger and then Gollum gets the shaft.G B7 EmThe ring and he both melted, how we clapped and cheered and laughed,Am D7 GBut the film keeps rolling on.[Chorus]GOh, good lord I need a loo break,C GOh, good lord I need a loo break,G EmOh, good lord I need a loo break,Am D7 GBut the film keeps rolling on.[Verse 4]GOutside now on Oroduin, with lava at their back,C G D7They're suffering suffocation and a sentiment attack.G B7 EmThe Hobbits fade to silence as the film fades to black,Am D7 GAnd I thought that it was done.[Verse 5]GBut the film flickers on again, my bladder gives a scream,C G D7The eagles come and rescue them and they rejoin their team.G B7 EmA happy ending after all, at least that's what it seems,Am D7 GBut the film keeps rolling on.[Chorus]GOh, good lord I need a loo break,C GOh, good lord I need a loo break,G EmOh, good lord I need a loo break,Am D7 GBut the film keeps rolling on.[Verse 6]GBack again in gondor and the king sings to his folks,C G D7These many movie endings are kind of cruel hoax.G B7 EmI wish I hadn't drunk those extra king-sized Hobbit cokes,Am D7 GBut the film keeps rolling on.[Verse 7]GArwen meets her king and it's exactly as she feared,C G D7She told him to get shaved, instead the mongrel's grown a beard.G B7 EmBut finally, finale, and the Hobbits are all cheered,Am D7 GBut the film keeps rolling on.[Chorus]GOh, good lord I need a loo break,C GOh, good lord I need a loo break,G EmOh, good lord I need a loo break,Am D7 GBut the film keeps rolling on.[Verse 8]GAnother day, another place, we're back now in The Shire,C G D7My back teeth are now floating and I think I might expire.G B7 EmFrodo finished his book and tells young Sam he must retire,Am D7 GBut the film keeps rolling on.[Verse 9]GDown to The Grey Havens where the swan proud ships all float,C G D7Frodo says his last farewells while the hobbits sob and dote.G B7 EmBut my bladders sreaming "Stop the hugging, board the fucking boat!",Am D7 GBut the film keeps rolling on.[Chorus]GOh, good lord I need a loo break,C GOh, good lord I need a loo break,G EmOh, good lord I need a loo break,Am D7 GBut the film keeps rolling on.[Verse 10]GAnd finally when everybody's sailed across the sea,C G D7I've lost the will to live and I've forgotten how to pee.G B7 EmAnd from the mad dash to the exits I can tell it's not just me,Am D7 GThis film is...rather long.[Verse 11]GOh, great lord of the Valar, grant us all your godly powers,C G D7Have pity on our bladders when the DVD's are ours.G B7 EmThe three extended versions will be something like twelve hours,Am D7 GThis film is rather long.[Bridge]GSo when Frodo goes walking with three of his folks,A7and joins in a quest with another five blokes,Dand Gimli is telling his dwarf-tossing jokes,Gand Gandalf is killed by a big thing that smokes,G#Galadrial asks what a mirror revokes,Bb7Sauruman's sacked by militant oaks,EbIt's raining in Rohan and Legolas soaks,G#Merry and Pippin are puffing down tokes,AFaramir bites when his daddy provokes,B7Gollum is planning his homicide hoax,ERohan is riding and Theoden croaks,AAnd Éowyn's handing out terminal pokes,GWhen Frodo succeeds in the ultimate act,A D7Just remember your urinal-genital tract...[Chorus]GAnd don't forget to have loo break,C GDon't forget to have loo break,G EmDon't forget to have loo break,Am D7 GThis film is rather long.[Outro]G(spoken) One more time now!GAnd don't forget to have loo break,C GDon't forget to have loo break,G EmDon't forget to have loo break,Am D7 GThis film is rather long.Am D7 GThis film is rather long.