Tim Minchin – 5 Poofs And 2 Pianos chords

Note: this is not mine, I found it on an internet forum, if you tabbed it a) thanks b) 
sorry c) your an idiot to post it on a forum and not expect it to be shared about a bit. Thanks!

(A)                                          E/G#Obviously I don't want to infer that being invited onto Friday Night with Wossy
                            F#m           Eisn't wonderfully affirming, and I know I oughta
Aappreciate the risk you took, the bookers who agreed to book
  E/G#                                                         F#m     
 Ea chap who tends to talk about the kinda things that get the BBC in hot water.

      A6And I don't want to seem greedy, I'm just saying
(E)I'd like to be here every week if that's OK.
                              Fo7(or E7b9/F)
And, if you'll hear me out, I think I've got a way
         F#m            E          Din which we could do it pretty easily.
                                        EYou can leave all the boring details to me.
       A6*               Eadd2/A*       F#m/A*It's a brilliant idea, a truly original concept.
A6*                   Eadd2/A*                   E/BNo one in Britain has ever done anything like it yet.

Picture this - imagine if we had

(A)            E/G#       F#m            E       Dfive poofs and two pianos - yeah, it's a wicked idea.
    A                       E/G#Why settle for a quartet of queers
               D/F#             EWhen there's a possibility of a penta-poofter-piano-posse here?
(A)            E/G#       F#m     E        DFive poofs and two pianos - yeah, it'll be ace:
  A                       E/G#                   D         Aa hundred percent more pianos and twenty five percent more gays.

Pickup: E F# G#
(A)I know, I know, I've seen the problem too.
(E/A)There's a rumour I am straight, it's true.
(D/A)                                  DmIt hurts to admit it, but I'm about as bent
                    Dmas Wossy himself or Fiddy Cent.
(A)But I've already thought it through.
(E/A)D'you know there's preachers in America who reckon they can do
    Dsexuality conversions. I've heard them assert
         D7they can cure a man of trouser love and turn him onto skirt.
       E7Well I don't see why they couldn't pull the same trick in reverse, and we'd have -

(A)            E/G#       F#m            E   Dfive poofs and two pianos - yeah, it's a revolution
    A                   E/G#and probably the best solution
                      D                         Eto the problem you're inevitably having with an even number of homosexuals.

Pickup: E F# G#
(A)Yes I know your producers might suspect
(E/A)that the licence-paying public will object
(D/A)                     Dto the Corporation having yet
            Dmanother homosexual to pay.
(A)The Daily Mail will bring the big guns out.
(E/A)Jan Moir will be frothing at the mouth,
(D/A)writing further brilliant stuff about
(Dm)                                 Ethe myth about being both happy and gay.

    F#m            F#m/A F#m/C#But all that moral indignation
     D/F#                   A/Ewill disappear when they see
      D                    Athose four lovely guys and me
Bm                    Esinging in perfect harmony.

    F#m/AAnd all those angry letter writers,
    D/Alike 'Disgusted' from the Isle of Wight
    F#m/Aand 'Mad' from Hull and 'Outraged' from Leeds
     E                      E7         Fo7and 'Slightly Annoyed' from Berwick on Tweed,
     F#m       E            Dwill instantly change their tune.
           A                          EThey'll be bleeding-heart liberals by Saturday noon.
           DThey'll be giving their grandchildren up for adoption
       E                       E7           Fo7in the hope that a gay married couple will adopt 'em.

           FThey'll be putting rainbow stickers on their cars,
    G                    E                     (Bass line - A 
E F E G A)and cutting holes in the arse of their leather strides.
And watching 2 pianos and 5 guys
Watching 2 pianos and 5 guys
                            G (picks up on the G in the bass line)
Watching 2 pianos and five ..1, 2 ,3, 4,

(C)         G/B      Am      G        F5 poofs and 2 pianos - yeah, it'll be grand.
        C                   G/B       F        CYou can never have too many pianos or too much man.
(C)         G/B        Am                       F5 poofs and 2 pianos - maybe we could out Jamie Cullum.
G                              F            CMake it a trio of pianos and a big gay half dozen.